Coping

Last year it was painting projects and this year it appears the theme is going to be furniture stripping and refinishing.

I didn't expect it to be as difficult this year, and it isn't, W's moving back into the dorm, though the house does seem a bit empty without him already. It hasn't even been 24 hours! Not a good sign.

After tackling 2 very small household projects yesterday afternoon I started in on one that became much bigger than I anticipated: refinishing our dining room table. It had been given to us by Joe's mom and is special for that reason. It had seen its share of wear and tear from 5 kids and 3 decades of use when it came to us. I did a light sanding and 2 coats of polyurethane over the summer to spruce it up, but for some reason the last coat didn't stick well and began flaking off in a couple places. Oh well. I figured I'd to a very light sanding and reapply another top coat. Ha! Think again.

As soon as I began doing that light sanding, the top layer started coming off in earnest. Ok, so it all needed to come off, I can do that. But....... while I'm at it I might as well take it down to bare wood and do a proper job of it, no sense in cutting corners now. That burn mark where the candle fell over during an enjoyable dinner with friends can be sanded out, as can be the deep scratch of unknown origin.

The "small project" I thought I'd be able to tackle in an afternoon or two has now become a full-blown refinishing, and will take a week or 2, depending on how much time I devote to it.

I was laughing at myself a bit as I was working on the table yesterday, noting the coincidence of my starting this project and the departure of W for college. As Freud said, there really aren't any coincidences, and I suspect he's probably right. Ah well, we all have our strategies, and mine is clearly that of working with my hands.

Introduction

As with most major things in my life I haven't planned anything for this blog, I assume it will just evolve as time goes by. I'm not a great one for having preconceived ideas about what I want something to be like, I enjoy the process and figure I'll know what direction I want to take it in as the process unwinds. Some of the biggest decisions I've made have come about this way, without having thought about them beforehand: when faced with a fork in the road I can decide which path to take, but before the fork is visible I don't anticipate its presence.

I think the major reason for starting this blog is that I am now at an interesting place in my life and am hoping that by writing I'll be able to clarify and work through some of the issues that I am facing. I'm 43 years old and my only child has just gone off to college. Also throw into the mix the fact that I have cystic fibrosis, which complicates just about every area of my life. I have a wonderfully supportive husband who is currently out of work and doing the job search thing. To say I'm at a crossroads would be an understatement: I'm at the end of one road and have entered a large field where there are no visible paths. Its quite an exciting and daunting time for me. Who am I? What do I want to do with the rest of my life? What is my purpose and how do I live up to my potential? I'll try to stay away from such cliched as "empty nest syndrome" and "midlife crisis", but in effect I suppose those are some of the issues I'll be exploring. Hey, its cheaper than therapy!!!