Say Hello to My Little Friend

Yesterday was finally warm enough to get outside and do the last of the spring raking and cleanup. Often in spring it's warmer away from the coast but a sea breeze will keep us on the 40s, while areas further inland enjoy 60 degrees. Not only does the wind make us much more chilly, it makes trying to corral the leaves and stuff them into bags nearly impossible.

Seven compostable bags of leaves later, the gardens are cleared and new spring growth is revealed. My spring 'daily rounds' are now possible- preferably with a hot cup of tea- to check on which plants are coming up and which ones have decided to call it quits.

While Joe was out at the DIY store picking up more leaf bags I heard a rustling in the leaves behind the rhododendron. When I approached I saw some movement and discovered that we have a wonderful addition to the yard- a small garden snake! An auspicious sign, snakes are great in the garden for eating insects, as well as being a sign of a healthy eco-system. I couldn't be happier to see this little guy!

Getting a photo of him/her proved to be difficult, as snakes do tend to be fairly shy. Other years I've seen them from time to time, slithering into a crevice in the cement by the back basement door under the porch or sadly hanging from Charlotte's jaw. This one seemed to just want to bask in the early spring sunshine. He'd pick a nice spot, then as soon as I'd approach with the camera, he'd go behind a log or under the leaves. After a while if I kept very still he'd re-emerge and find another suitable spot.

My patience eventually paid off and I got a couple good pictures of him. I do hope to be seeing more of our visitor, even if it's just the end of his tail as he makes his way to a new hiding place. Now, what to name him?

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.......

Rather than discard the wicker-framed mirror we had in the old upstairs bathroom when we remodeled, I decided there would be nothing lost if I tried to mosaic it.

The wicker was removed, leaving a nice flat frame. I had quite a few pink and burgundy dishes sitting in the basement, just waiting to be broken, and the bathroom workmen had very thoughtfully left behind some leftover white grout.

The mirror came out pretty good and looks perfect in the downstairs bathroom, with it's pink/burgundy tile. Sometimes you just have to go with it! The total cost of this mirror is probably about $5 (for the china plates). Everything else was reused or re-purposed.

Kicking Back

These four socks represent the fruits of my winter's knitting labors. I've tried several different sock patterns and by far this one is my favorite! There's quite a bit of stretch in this lace pattern, making the fit good even if the sock is a bit too small or large.

I love being able to have something small and portable I can work on while waiting in doctor's offices or in front of the television in the evening; that way I don't feel like I'm "wasting" time. The next pair will be cantaloupe colored in the same pattern. Twenty-eleven is definitely the year of the sock.

More Garden Tour

When we had the outside of the house re shingled in 2009 we had a small (8x8) deck put on. It's only big enough for 2 people to sit on, plus some plants, which was the primary purpose, rather than a big "party deck" for entertaining. On a warm summer's evening or weekend morning we enjoy sitting at the little table and enjoying a cup of coffee or meal al fresco.

I've been keeping a watchful eye on the birdhouse every time I'm doing work outside; no viewings to date that I've seen. I seem to remember last year several varieties of birds popping in and out a few times each, checking the house out. I'm hoping it won't go unoccupied this year. Maybe everything is just that much later due to all the snow and cold weather we've had? There is snow in the forecast tomorrow, too. I guess I wouldn't feel much like constructing a nest, either.

I love having little figures and statues around the garden - but no garden gnomes here! This is Easter Island Man with a bunch of daffodils coming up behind him. I'll have to take photos of the other statuary: a turtle, 2 cats, a bunny and a couple of owls.

The gardens are ready to go! Now if only the weather would cooperate and warm up a bit. I received the seed potatoes yesterday and set them out on the 3-season porch to chit. I'm hoping for a nice crop this year; Yukon golds and some red variety which I can't remember the name of right now. Yum! The seedlings were transplanted into larger pots yesterday and all seem to have survived.

This is my favorite spot to sit in the early morning and have my coffee. Joe and Wilson gave me this garden bench for Mother's Day many years ago; I love the weathered look. Next to the bench is a "Miss Kim" miniature lilac bush which I picked up at Home Depot last year on the cheap. There's also a wine box planter and stone owl keeping watch.

To the left of the bench is the back basement steps which leads to my little potting area. I've kept several potted plants there this winter for protection, and all seem to have survived. I'll have to feature that space in another post. Joe built me a brick counter where I can play with the dirt and pots in a sheltered area under the 3-season porch.

I have so many more photos of little yard highlights, but blogger only lets me post 5 at a time. There will be future garden posts as things begin to grow and green up.

Walk With Me

I've read that cats are very in attached to where they live, so much so that if you move and don't keep your cat inside for a few weeks for him to become accustomed to their new "territory" they will try to make their way back to their old home. It's thought to have something to do with the magnetic fields of the earth, but to me it sounds like cats just have a very sophisticated internal GPS that drives them to return to where they consider "home".

Although I enjoy traveling to different places, I am very cat-like in that my absolute favorite place on earth is the little 5000 square foot piece of the earth that is ours. I love our home and yard better than any place else on earth. Yes, waterfront mansions are impressive with their views and floor plans that are as big as our entire property, but if push came to shove I'd pick our little house and gardens any day.

Technically it is spring, but you'd never know it by walking around the yard, which is what I did this morning with my camera. If you drive or walk down our street and stop in front of our house this is what you'll see:

Because the garage is underneath

the house, one of our cars is always in the driveway. I always

thought it was strange to have a garage where there should be basement, but have found that it's nice in the winter; our garage and basement aren't heated, but unless the temperature goes well below zero outside, it stays above freezing in the garage. So much nicer to get into a 40 degree car than a 12 degree one!

To the right of the driveway and big oak tree

with the climbing hydrangea on it, there is a pathway that leads up to the side kitchen door. If you walk around the stairs, you'll follow a wood-chipped path that will take you to the back yard.

Along the side foundation there are various perennials, a rhodie, birdbath and a few herbs.

A few crocus that have escaped the hungry squirrels. They even had the audacity to leave a few chewed purple leaves and saffron tassels in the birdbath. Have they no shame?!

Further down the path is a lilac that just last year produced its first fragrant blooms. The white fence was trash-picked (I prefer the term "up-cycled") and installed to hide the compost bins. Although they do good work, they aren't very pretty.

The lowly bins and other various gardening paraphernalia.

The tour will continue with the rest of the back yard tomorrow. Please stay tuned.

Long Time Coming

When I look at the date of my last post, I'm shocked to see it is from the beginning of February. Nearly 2 months! It isn't that there haven't been things, both good and bad, that have been going on. There has been plenty of material about which to write, but for some unknown reason, I haven't been able to put anything down. I'll use the Reader's Digest format to update life events to the present.

Bathroom Renovation: Done!

New vanity and linen tower. Oh, the storage!

Toilet nook.

Millie enjoying the radiator heat. Shower to the left, toilet behind the door.

The bathroom is completed, exactly 5 weeks after starting the project. I'm thrilled with the results; we have so much more useable storage, a more spacious floor plan, larger shower and far prettier room with more light. Morning and evening rituals are now a pleasure to be enjoyed rather than necessities to be rushed through as quickly as possible. Hopefully this will be the last home renovation we need to do for quite some time.

Health

After limping through most of the fall and winter not feeling 100%, I was finally unwell enough to realize I needed a hospitalization. Well, actually, it took my docs to point that out to me, as usual. Even after being admitted, I told Joe: "I really don't think I need to be here".

Surprise! I did. It was actually a good thing. Lots of diagnostics, specialists and time to rest sorted a few things out. The IV antibiotics did their job and my lungs are now in better shape than they were prior to going in. The new medication, Revatio, the pulmonary hypertension specialist started me on back in January seems to have kicked in; I'm less short of breath with activity. A cardiologist ordered an echo and 24 hour heart monitor (both results still pending) but was able to explain the seemingly unexplainable test I had last August. Short version: it seems that I have some new abnormality with my vasculature in which the vessels don't dilate as they should when I exercise, causing my blood pressure to skyrocket. This, in turn, puts pressure on my heart, which is pumping against abnormally high resistance and causes the left ventricular dysfunction (cardiomyopathy). In addition, the vessels between the heart and lungs have a much higher than normal pressure when I exercise, also known as exercise induced pulmonary hypertension - EIPH for short. Now it all makes sense and I feel that there is a good team of docs in place who are able to treat these interrelated issues. Unfortunately, no one specialist covers all 3 things so there is a pulmonologist to treat the lung disease, one to treat the pulmonary hypertension and then a cardiologist to treat the systemic hypertension and cardiomyopathy. Bring them on, the more the merrier, I say.

The good news is that 2 weeks after discharge, I'm able to exercise closer to my previous baseline than I had been in the past 6 months. There has been an enormous amount of deconditioning which will take months to recover, but at least I have the energy and ability to do it now. Weights 4 days a week, yoga once a week and treadmill/walk at least 5 times a week- without fail. Time to get in touch with my inner drill sargent!

Garden

While I was in MGH all the snow melted, something I wouldn't have believed could happen in a 2 week period. Miracles never cease to amaze me. We were treated to several 50-70 degree days in which I was able to clean up about 1/2 the yard's leaves that had been buried all winter. The temps have turned colder this week and we've had flurries several days so no yard work this week; fortunately these things will keep.

I had planted a tray of seeds prior to being admitted and Joe dutifully watered them while I was away; I have broccoli, peppers, eggplant, tomatoes and lettuce to look forward to planting out in a few weeks! He also treated me to a tumbling composter as a welcome home gift- which is now loaded up with the leaves and kitchen scraps from the past 2 weeks. More black gold for the garden, there's never too much of a good thing.

The crocus are very late in blooming this year due to the late departure of all the snow. We actually have snowdrops out now- at least a month later than usual- but no less welcome. I'll take any sign of spring no matter how delayed at this point. Next week is supposed to be a tad warmer (40s) so I'll be sure to get out and photograph what is going on in the gardens. It's good to be back.

Oh Snow!

I realize I'm no different than the rest of the population in the Northeast, save those who have escaped to warmer climates, but the weekly snowstorms have become a tad tiresome. It is, however, a good opportunity to be Zen about it and accept whatever comes our way with equanimity. Still working on that one!

Processing

As my grandmother used to say when we were looking for something and finally found it: "it's always in the last place you look!" It didn't dawn on me until I was an adult that her statement was in jest: I just thought it was funny that it was true- you always found something in the last place you looked- what a coincidence!

Such was the situation with figuring out the somewhat confusing results of the Level 3 Baird test I had last August. After seeing several different specialists to interpret the results, all of whom said they really couldn't make heads nor tails of it, I finally found someone who told me that it made perfect sense to them. And yes, there is a diagnosis!

After my initial response of relief and and happiness that *finally* there is an answer; a name for this, and treatments, the reality started to sink in and I felt my spirits settling into a funk. Another serious, chronic illness to contend with. It's true that even with CF there are new symptoms from time to time and things I haven't yet dealt with, but for the most part, it's something I'm very familiar with. I have a lot of learning to do in order to bring myself up to speed with this latest issue.

I have a mild case of pulmonary hypertension, also known as exercise induced PH. The reason that none of the other specialists were able to figure this out is because it's rare and a very small specialty. Most physicians, even pulmonary and cardiac specialists, aren't familiar with it. Only a PH specialist would be able to interpret the results and make the diagnosis. So there is is, at least we finally know what it is and it can be treated.

I asked if this is secondary to the CF lung disease or a separate entity altogether and the answer was: "It's difficult to know". Obviously, the lungs and heart as well as the major vessels that oxygenate the blood are all very closely connected and what affects one part of the system will affect the others. However, this doesn't appear to be as a result of CF, but more something that is occurring in conjunction with it. Will it get worse? There isn't an answer for that either. Some literature indicates that exercise induced PH is an early or mild form of PH, but Dr C said his opinion was, after having treated patients with this for 20 years, that it is a milder form and may never get any worse. No guarantees, of course.

The treatments are oxygen and some oral, inhaled and IV drugs. At the moment I'm only requiring O2 with exercise so am doing all I can on that front already. There is a drug, sildenafil, which helps some patients to feel better and lessen the symptoms of fatigue and shortness of breath - more commonly known as Viagra- which they are going to try me on. As the NP said, I don't really want to know how it was discovered that Viagra helps patients with PH, but there is clearly potential for a very funny story there. Drug companies being the considerate entities that they are, the brand name has been changed to Revatia when used for PH. Thank goodness I don't have to walk into CVS to hear them announce: "Your Viagra 'script is ready!". At least there is that.

The PH clinic nurse has pointed me to the PHA, which has a very helpful website with lots of teaching materials and information for the newly diagnosed. With the snowstorm which is coming for this week it looks like I'll have plenty of time indoors to get myself up to speed. I'm fortunate that chronic illness isn't something foreign to me, but as with anything new, it's going to take some adjustment and a bit of time for me to come to terms with this latest bit of information.

Under Construction

And now for some photos of the progress. It has been 9 days since the bathroom was demolished and although it doesn't look like much has been done, there have been plumbers, electricians and carpenters here all day every weekday.

This wall, where the shower used to be on the right and the pedestal sink on the left will be the home of the new 4' vanity and linen tower.

Cats do NOT like construction. Or any disruption in their home or routine, for that matter.

Millie checks out the new shower base.

This wall seems solid and plumb. Excellent for scratching!

Shower valve.

Caution: no shower here yet.

This is where the new dual-flush toilet will go. For those who are not familiar- a smaller amount of water is used for liquid waste and..... well, you get the idea. There is going to be a storage cabinet above the toilet in the eave space and the shower is to the right.

This last photo was 2 storms ago. You get the idea.

Groundhog Day

Today we receive another 10 inches of snow, this winter I could probably copy and paste my last post each week and it would be true. I was never able to watch the entire Bill Murray movie Groundhog Daybecause I found it entirely too annoying to watch them repeating the same day over and over. I realize I was missing the "bigger message" of the movie, but there it is. And now, in a way I don't need to watch it; although the plot differs, we're living it out this winter.

Each week has provided its own significant snowfall. I've actually lost track if we are on our 3rd or 4th blizzard. Does it really matter? We've run out of places to put the snow and this year I do think that plow drivers are intrinsically evil people. I'm convinced they wait around the corner to see when we finish shoveling or snow-blowing before coming down the street again and dumping a fresh mountain at the end of the driveway. On the news they said one town actually has police escorts for the plow drivers to protect them from irate homeowners. Imagine!

On a brighter note, the upstairs bathroom is progressing well. I have to hand it to the workmen; they show up and work despite the weather.

This is the bathroom before the demolition started:

Love the knotty pine!

Joe's closet on the left and the catch-all closet on the right. Ripping this area out will give us much more space in the bathroom.

View from in the closet. Toilet at the left, small pedestal sink and the is shower on the right.

Our little shower - 32x34". The new one is going to feel so spacious!!! No more bruised elbows.

This is the view into the bathroom from the hallway. The old shower is behind the wall on the right. It has always been impossible to have more than one person in the room at one time due to the layout. Now it will be that much bigger and easier to share the space. I'm a bit sad to see the wallpaper go, it's a Waverly print that I got on sale because it had been discontinued (just before my 30th birthday.... yep, it's been up for 16 years!) I love the colors and pattern as much as I did the day we put it up, but I know saying goodbye to it will be totally worth it.

Snow Job

After the Wednesday blizzard it seemed almost miraculous that Thursday dawned sunny and blindingly bright after the previous day's darkness and storm. I couldn't resist taking a walk with my camera before the roads got too busy.

I love the way the house looks covered in snow, so cozy and charming.

The sun shining through a snow-covered tree.

The big oak in front of our house was creaking and groaning with the coating of ice and snow. I will neither confirm nor deny the fact that I got nailed - not once but twice!- with falling snow while snapping photos. Some opportunities are just too good to pass up.

Day Off

Yesterday I did something rare, self-indulgent and bad for me: I skipped both morning and evening treatments. (I did take a 1-1/2 mile walk, which was basically the only "good-for-me" thing I did all day.) What a treat! I probably should have used the time constructively, to accomplish some great task, but instead the it was used to completely sack out on the couch watching a Mad Men marathon. Say that 10 times fast!

Joe made me promise that it would be the only time I'd skip a treatment all week, which I readily agreed to. From time to time I'll take the evening session off if we have plans or have had an especially busy day, but skipping both morning and evening is as rare as a blue moon, for good reason. Omitting a neb or vest session here or there isn't going to kill me, the same way not brushing your teeth one evening isn't going to cause all your teeth to fall out, but getting into the habit of not brushing isn't a good path to go down. Same with nebs and vesting: one missed treatment does not a habit make, but it is a slippery slope. Aaah, the freedom! For that reason I try to avoid skipping more than 2 per week. Two out of 14 isn't horrible, and that is a worst-case-scenario; ideally I have a 100% compliance rate. Although I probably won't miss 2 in a day for another year, I can look back on the sweet laziness of yesterday until that next time I have a day off.

Pair Four

This pair is my favorite so far. The yarn is soft, not too stretchy and is a delicious mint color. The lace pattern was a challenge, but once I got the hang of it wasn't difficult. The fit on this pair is the best, also. My only complaint is that the leg part could have been a bit longer; I did have extra yarn but wasn't sure I would have enough to complete the foot if I knit them further up the ankle.

My next pair is going to be in a pink multi-color using the same pattern (lacy days clouds in Knit Socks!) and I will do an extra inch on the leg. The past 2 Christmases were Years of the Slipper; quite possibly the Christmas of 2011 will be the Year of the Sock.

Felted slippers ready to be wrapped as Christmas gifts.

Not Just One Fork

"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Life grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go" - Green Day

On this last day of 2010 it's fun to reflect upon the past year and there is always the temptation to put a label on it as if we were able to qualify it as good or bad. There are good events and bad events; scary, satisfying and joyful events, all of which make up each moment, day, month and year in our lives. How can anyone term a moment, month or year "bad" or "good"? Each moment simply is.

We are offered many amazing opportunities on a day to day basis and I am incredibly lucky to be able to take advantage of so much life has to offer. Everyone has limitations; some are mental, others physical, monetary or time-based. The trick is to learn how to work around the things that limit us and capitalize on the areas we are able to explore. I may not be capable of being as active as I would like to be, but I'm dedicating this next phase in my life to using my mind (what there is of it!) in different ways.

What to do? Learn another language? Study an interesting subject? At times I'm so overwhelmed with the possibilities I feel a bit paralyzed; there is an endless display of forks laid out before me and I'd like to go down each one. Maybe the biggest challenge for me is to choose which avenues to pursue and which to bypass, and not my physical limitations, after all.

Stretching

The first time my grandmother R held Wilson when he was but a week or so old she commented on the way he stretched as he slept, arched back and squirming: "that's how they grow", she said. I've always remembered that moment and her wisdom. I'm not sure if that really is how babies grow, by stretching, but it's a piece of old-time wisdom that makes much sense. How else to explain the miracle that is life, growth and change?

Even when we are finished physically growing, we can still stretch ourselves in order to grow. Having new experiences, trying new things, going out of our comfort zone and learning. Sometimes it is uncomfortable, for me anyway. How much easier it is to stick to the old, familiar, tried and true path. Yet there is something inside that prompts me to want to learn new things, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me. There is frustration at not mastering something immediately; it would be much easier to do something the way I've always done it. Yet the challenge beckons.

I've found it best for me to acknowledge the discomfort and frustration and push through it. Eventually, with practice, whatever it is I'm trying to master becomes easier and more familiar. The key is not to avoid new things because of the sensations they bring up. If I was to make a New Year's resolution, that would be it.

May 2011 be a year of stretching beyond old levels of comfort and full of new and exciting experiences.