In Sickness and in Health

One thing I've noticed since I've been reading various blogs is how much I look forward to new posts. When a few days or a week go by without something new I feel a sense of disappointment and wonder what is going on that the person hasn't been able to write. Of course, no matter how much one enjoys an activity, there will inevitably come a time when a bit of a break is needed. Sometimes bloggers will announce that they are going to be absent, and some just seem to drop off, leaving the reader to wonder when, if ever, they will be back.

This past week I've been sick with a virus. Nothing specific, just low energy, achy and needing to sleep much of the time- no other symptoms! If I didn't know others who had the same thing I'd worry that it was psychological, which is typical of me. I am getting better at listening to my body as I get older; I took a few days off from the things I do. No cooking, no cleaning, no typing, no tutoring, definitely no exercise and even no yoga. I slept all night and napped much of the day away on the couch. I felt guilty, lazy and useless (as I always do when not in motion) but those feelings weren't enough to force me into activity. Lo and behold, I started feeling better on Friday. Rest is a good thing. Memo to myself: Rest is a Good Thing!!

I wish I was able to handle not feeling well more gracefully. I usually fight it for a few days, hoping that if I ignore it the illness won't be "real". I don't think this has ever actually worked for me so it's probably high time I stopped using this particular way of doing things. I'm sure one of the reasons I hate acknowledging that I'm sick is because any illness tends to hit me harder because of my underlying health problems. I get sicker and the symptoms last longer and have the potential to turn into a lung infection - my body unable to fight both the bacteria that always live in my lungs in addition to the virus. Knowing this, why wouldn't I rest and allow my body to heal as soon as I notice I'm not feeling well? Chalk it up to a conditioned way of doing things, what the Buddhists would call samsara. I guess now is a good time to recognise that this doesn't work for me and make a change. Better late than never!

Back to my original point: It feels like a long time since I've written and I did miss it. I'm glad to be feeling better and that my mind is able to dwell on things other than the "poor me's" of feeling ill. Next time I'll post that I'm going to be away for a few days, even if only to remind myself that I need to take the time off.