Staying Put

Prior to and during my consultation at Children's hospital I was quite sure I was going to make the switch back. I liked the doctor, she seemed to listen to and understand everything I was saying and what I was looking for in a center, and a doctor. The staff was all attentive, the clinic clean. I spoke to the research nurse who listed several studies they are doing that I would be eligible for. It all seemed good.

Yet as I left, for all the familiarity, I still had an unsettled feeling. Nothing I could put my finger on, but something in my gut that didn't quite sit right. I decided not to make a decision until I felt strongly one way or the other, I'd sit with the feeling and see where it led me.

The more I thought about it the more I felt that the pediatric setting wasn't right for me. The care would be good, no doubt. But there is a different philosophy and attitude at MGH and, for me, it feels more comfortable. The one comment I kept going back to that the doc at Children's had made was that they didn't emphasize exercise there as part of the treatment plan because it wasn't really necessary with children. They're naturally more active than adults. (Though, as an aside, I'm not convinced of the truth of that statement in this day and age of X Box and Nintendo) Regardless of the validity, if they are treating adults, I don't think they can apply the same rules as they do for kids.

The comment in itself wasn't a big deal. And in all honesty, I don't need a doctor or PT to tell me I should be exercising and to devise a plan for me. I already have my routine and it works well, so that part doesn't really make any difference. I think it was the attitude that they didn't do something because it didn't apply to children - which brought me back to the main reason I left in the first place - the fact that they didn't want to let go of their adult patients, but they aren't able to completely shift their approach to that of adult care.

I didn't spend much time agonizing over the decision this time. I was able to trust that eventually I'd know what was going to be right for me, one way or the other. I feel very comfortable with my decision, and also know that nothing is set in stone; just because the time isn't right at this moment, doesn't mean that it won't come up again in a few years. All I know is that for now, MGH is the place for me.