Patience Revisited

A busy medical week in that I had an exercise evaluation at MGH on Tuesday to assess how I'm doing after the surgery and see what modifications I can make to my exercise regimen.  The 6-minute walk test revealed that I'm actually doing better than I had thought, especially just 45 days after surgery. I walked a total of 605m in 6 minutes which put my pace at 3.7 mph. (Why the distance is measured in meters and the pace in mph rather than km, I'll never know) The bad news was that my O2 saturation went down to 86 on 3L of oxygen during the test, but still, no different than I had been 2 years ago, which was good.

The PT was quite pleased with how I'm doing, all things considered. It was suggested that I continue with the treadmill, start up at yoga again (yay!!!) and give it more time before re-incorporating strength training. My frustration had been that I was capable of doing both treadmill and weights, but then I'd be wiped out for days on end afterwards. Turns out I was rushing things a bit too much and need to give it several more weeks. I was also instructed to spot check my O2 sat more frequently when out and about (not just on the treadmill) to ensure my sats don't drop below 90, which will worsen the pulmonary hypertension. That's something I'd rather avoid.

Given the go ahead to return to yoga, I started back yesterday and was happy it didn't feel as difficult as I had anticipated. I've lost a fair amount of flexibility and strength, but know after a few weeks it will be much better. Patience! That has been my biggest challenge these past few months and something I need to work on developing much more of.

So, the weights will need to wait, but hopefully by summer I'll be  back into them and regain my strength. I'm so accustomed to recovering from a medical illness that this surgical experience has been quite a surprise in that it's so much slower-paced. Just another life lesson that things can't be rushed, they need to happen in their own time and that our minds are not the masters of our bodies.

Our Bodies, Ourselves

Wherever you go, there you are. - Unknown

"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds" - Bob Marley

This post has been a very long time in coming. There is a bottleneck somewhere in my mind and although there is much to say, the words are squeezed together and stuck; some things I'm still figuring out. Maybe if I start the process, whether or not it makes sense, things will start to flow again.

In the past 2 months the foundation of my world has been shaken; I've always thought myself fairly grounded but I felt as though I completely lost my footing and all the coming to terms I'd done with my mortality went out the window. If not for Joe, Wilson, my parents and close friends I wouldn't have had the strength to manage.  In the past, when recovering from  a health decline or crisis I've felt moments of gratitude, a special heightened awareness and appreciation for life, but the times were fleeting and once I was recovered that heightened awareness would dwindle.

Not this time; I feel so thankful and also much more aware of the fragility of life. Everyone who survives a shock says the same thing, "Life can change in a second, you just never know". One moment things are fine, you are going about your day and the next your world is upside down. Yet somehow nothing has changed. It's a trick to incorporate the new information into your world, learn and grow from it, allow it to make you a better person. That's what I'm still working on.

Regardless of what our bodies go through, we are in charge of our minds. We are the only ones who can decide whether we will be prisoners of our physical bodies or if we can break the bonds of our mental slavery and rise above it all.